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The SoundCloud Sessions

by Sampson

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1.
Tornadoes break all my pride Sharks tear me to pieces as I swim through the deafening sound of my own depression …Kill me… Not to bring you down But I’m struggling here and now and I’m still scared of the night Scared of unrest vultures waiting, circling Save me from my beating chest for it causes me pain Begging to stop this rain 8 million needles draining all I got from my veins …Kill me… But I have too much to lose So many that love But I’m feeling like all I got is booze It’s the easy way out I’m so lost Been here too many times to count …Help me… You tell me I’m not alone You may be right Eyes filled with darkness Show me the light You don’t get it We start to fight Then I hit you with all my might …Help me… I didn’t mean it I’m so fuckin sorry Don’t leave Don’t leave Watching my life crumble I can’t breathe …Save me…
2.
I have days I have days where I have days where I want to quit I think about it Just giving into my sorrow Desperation exhausted Fire washed out by the tears of my soul Days where nothing can fill this hole But I’m here But I’m trying Still crying So I know I still care So I can’t give in just yet But I have days where I fear Living in a continuous nightmare Tearing my hair out Trying to get anywhere Like angels and demons on my shoulder Part of me says “just give in” “You can’t move this boulder” The snow is falling heavily now Trying to walk through life As these days get colder and colder
3.
And I’ve tried to forget About all the shit that has happened Things I’ve seen Things I’ve heard How many bullet holes does it really take To see that shit is fucked up How many bombs have to explode To see exactly why people dive into a bottle of booze You question the integrity of us Yet you still bicker and show us brainwashing news Fuck your damn agenda Keep your politics away from me I want no part of your game Hidden monster that has one name … Us I never went to college because what’s the point Half of us can’t find jobs even with a degree And again I’m sorry but holy fuck is it pricey Furthering our debt for an ideal that just isn’t true Yea I’ve worked shit jobs most of my life But even with a master’s degree So do some of you We fight for this damn country That’s led by people who could give a shit Counting their wallets While another innocent soul gets thrown into a ditch People wake up in a new hell everyday But still we worry about how much we get paid Kids are born ready for war Another woman forcefully laid How can you not see what’s wrong Stop the disgrace Tears are running down our face The real war is in our hearts But we are just so use to the chase So much talent that I never got to meet I’m losing family every other day it seems But I just bought this new shirt, it’s pretty neat… We are dying inside Overdosing on depression Stressed because we can’t break free The real recession
4.
Maybe I’ve seen you I mean I had to have seen you right So many smart and awesome women in my life One of you must be the one right Maybe I have yet to meet But if so can you hurry and find your way to me I have so much love An infinite amount Far deeper than the depth of the sea I am told I am pretty awesome So stop playing possum Stop hiding your beautiful face I really don’t think I’m that smart I tend to over think some situations I snore and drool in my sleep My past makes me sad So at random I may start to weep I am very much my own person So please don’t ask me to change I have many issues Many demons I have yet to fight The hill in front is a little steep As in control as I may look Inside is mess that I can’t keep seem to fix I care deeply about everyone I’ll tell you everything that you want to know I am a good man I will shovel every inch of your snow When the end comes When down comes the sky I will use of every ounce of strength I have To hold it up so that for a few more minutes I can stare into those beautiful eyes I’m sorry but I’ll never be rich There won’t be a fancy house or car But I am wealthy in hugs and kisses I’m good at giving “I love you” stares from afar I’m constantly in a fight with staying away from the bar My words are extremely important to me I use them to help people find out who they are I’m a sarcastic asshole Just tell me if I’m coming off a little mean I have written lines and lines about you You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen I know that one day You will be everything I need You will be my balance The other half of me
5.
Twenty Bucks 01:26
20 bucks.. For bills For food For gas 20 bucks.. Somehow this must last 20 bucks I'm praying for luck 20 bucks I'm saying "Jesus Christ what the fuck?!" 20 bucks I'm buying booze 20 bucks Thinking of a deep snooze 20 bucks I accept that I lose I'm just so tired... 20 bucks.. My flame has all but expired Where I see myself and where I am are no where close Been so down and thinking of an overdose I'm smart as fuck But I'm so broke that my mind is toast In this world, if you got no wallet You've got nothing to fuckin boast So much poverty Far beyond our coasts How many people would kill for some solid food As you throw away the rest of that roast Here I am still sick of fighting this battle grabbing on to anything As I hear the demonic tail rattle How does one ever recover Always trying get back on the saddle I feel like a lifetime has passed 26 years old Too young to feel gassed I can’t even imagine 5 yrs. from now So much has happened in the 5yrs last Been poor most of my life I’m a survivor that’s ready for another task Never a chance to fuckin rest 24/7 It's just not good enough I've got nothing better than my best Rippin my heart out So you can feel the beat in my chest 20 bucks to my name with 20 bucks less
6.
I used to say jets are cool I use to look up to the president Like he must be super smart I use to be good at Mario kart I use to have so much more faith I use to be blind to the ways of the world I use to not understand why my parents split up Now I’m in the same spot Except it’s my heart that split from it’s beat And my son gets to go through the same thing I feel like puking every time I press repeat I don’t believe in the religion called Deceit I use to have trust I use to think we walked down the same god damn street I use to love this place Stress tattoos my face Now I’m twenty-six Going backwards in this “I’m proud to be an American” race Sick of the heartbreak Can I just sit down and enjoy a steak Life is what you make So short but it's a venomous snake Miss my mother One day she just didn't wake Nothing is ever just a piece of cake And I don't know how much more of this shit I can really take Sitting Staring Sweating Swearing Can I just stop caring Can I just focus on what it is I'm wearing I'd say bring me back to being a kid But I don't like most of what those times did My past is stuffed in a box but I can't find the fuckin lid We are always so close to the edge Sometimes I can even hear the reaper's bus tires skid

about

Some super raw records of some poems I did on SoundCloud. Thank you for listening!

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released February 23, 2015

All poetry is original and brought to you for free. Enjoy!

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Sampson Ontario, New York

I'm just a poet trying to fulfill his dream

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