1. |
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Tornadoes break all my pride
Sharks tear me to pieces
as I swim through the deafening sound of my own depression
…Kill me…
Not to bring you down
But I’m struggling here and now
and I’m still scared of the night
Scared of unrest
vultures waiting, circling
Save me from my beating chest
for it causes me pain
Begging to stop this rain
8 million needles draining all I got from my veins
…Kill me…
But I have too much to lose
So many that love
But I’m feeling like all I got is booze
It’s the easy way out
I’m so lost
Been here too many times to count
…Help me…
You tell me I’m not alone
You may be right
Eyes filled with darkness
Show me the light
You don’t get it
We start to fight
Then I hit you with all my might
…Help me…
I didn’t mean it
I’m so fuckin sorry
Don’t leave
Don’t leave
Watching my life crumble
I can’t breathe
…Save me…
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2. |
Part of Me Says
01:09
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I have days
I have days where
I have days where I want to quit
I think about it
Just giving into my sorrow
Desperation exhausted
Fire washed out by the tears of my soul
Days where nothing can fill this hole
But I’m here
But I’m trying
Still crying
So I know I still care
So I can’t give in just yet
But I have days where I fear
Living in a continuous nightmare
Tearing my hair out
Trying to get anywhere
Like angels and demons on my shoulder
Part of me says “just give in”
“You can’t move this boulder”
The snow is falling heavily now
Trying to walk through life
As these days get colder and colder
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3. |
The Real Recession
01:40
|
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And I’ve tried to forget
About all the shit that has happened
Things I’ve seen
Things I’ve heard
How many bullet holes does it really take
To see that shit is fucked up
How many bombs have to explode
To see exactly why people dive into a bottle of booze
You question the integrity of us
Yet you still bicker and show us brainwashing news
Fuck your damn agenda
Keep your politics away from me
I want no part of your game
Hidden monster that has one name
… Us
I never went to college because what’s the point
Half of us can’t find jobs even with a degree
And again I’m sorry but holy fuck is it pricey
Furthering our debt for an ideal that just isn’t true
Yea I’ve worked shit jobs most of my life
But even with a master’s degree
So do some of you
We fight for this damn country
That’s led by people who could give a shit
Counting their wallets
While another innocent soul gets thrown into a ditch
People wake up in a new hell everyday
But still we worry about how much we get paid
Kids are born ready for war
Another woman forcefully laid
How can you not see what’s wrong
Stop the disgrace
Tears are running down our face
The real war is in our hearts
But we are just so use to the chase
So much talent that I never got to meet
I’m losing family every other day it seems
But I just bought this new shirt, it’s pretty neat…
We are dying inside
Overdosing on depression
Stressed because we can’t break free
The real recession
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4. |
The Search for My Other
02:00
|
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Maybe I’ve seen you
I mean I had to have seen you right
So many smart and awesome women in my life
One of you must be the one right
Maybe I have yet to meet
But if so can you hurry and find your way to me
I have so much love
An infinite amount
Far deeper than the depth of the sea
I am told I am pretty awesome
So stop playing possum
Stop hiding your beautiful face
I really don’t think I’m that smart
I tend to over think some situations
I snore and drool in my sleep
My past makes me sad
So at random I may start to weep
I am very much my own person
So please don’t ask me to change
I have many issues
Many demons I have yet to fight
The hill in front is a little steep
As in control as I may look
Inside is mess that I can’t keep seem to fix
I care deeply about everyone
I’ll tell you everything that you want to know
I am a good man
I will shovel every inch of your snow
When the end comes
When down comes the sky
I will use of every ounce of strength I have
To hold it up so that for a few more minutes
I can stare into those beautiful eyes
I’m sorry but I’ll never be rich
There won’t be a fancy house or car
But I am wealthy in hugs and kisses
I’m good at giving “I love you” stares from afar
I’m constantly in a fight with staying away from the bar
My words are extremely important to me
I use them to help people find out who they are
I’m a sarcastic asshole
Just tell me if I’m coming off a little mean
I have written lines and lines about you
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen
I know that one day
You will be everything I need
You will be my balance
The other half of me
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5. |
Twenty Bucks
01:26
|
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20 bucks..
For bills
For food
For gas
20 bucks..
Somehow this must last
20 bucks
I'm praying for luck
20 bucks
I'm saying "Jesus Christ what the fuck?!"
20 bucks
I'm buying booze
20 bucks
Thinking of a deep snooze
20 bucks
I accept that I lose
I'm just so tired...
20 bucks..
My flame has all but expired
Where I see myself
and where I am
are no where close
Been so down and thinking of an overdose
I'm smart as fuck
But I'm so broke that my mind is toast
In this world, if you got no wallet
You've got nothing to fuckin boast
So much poverty
Far beyond our coasts
How many people would kill for some solid food
As you throw away the rest of that roast
Here I am still sick of fighting this battle
grabbing on to anything
As I hear the demonic tail rattle
How does one ever recover
Always trying get back on the saddle
I feel like a lifetime has passed
26 years old
Too young to feel gassed
I can’t even imagine 5 yrs. from now
So much has happened in the 5yrs last
Been poor most of my life
I’m a survivor that’s ready for another task
Never a chance to fuckin rest
24/7 It's just not good enough
I've got nothing better than my best
Rippin my heart out
So you can feel the beat in my chest
20 bucks to my name
with 20 bucks less
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6. |
I Used To Say
01:26
|
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I used to say jets are cool
I use to look up to the president
Like he must be super smart
I use to be good at Mario kart
I use to have so much more faith
I use to be blind to the ways of the world
I use to not understand why my parents split up
Now I’m in the same spot
Except it’s my heart that split from it’s beat
And my son gets to go through the same thing
I feel like puking every time I press repeat
I don’t believe in the religion called Deceit
I use to have trust
I use to think we walked down the same god damn street
I use to love this place
Stress tattoos my face
Now I’m twenty-six
Going backwards in this “I’m proud to be an American” race
Sick of the heartbreak
Can I just sit down and enjoy a steak
Life is what you make
So short but it's a venomous snake
Miss my mother
One day she just didn't wake
Nothing is ever just a piece of cake
And I don't know how much more of this shit
I can really take
Sitting
Staring
Sweating
Swearing
Can I just stop caring
Can I just focus on what it is I'm wearing
I'd say bring me back to being a kid
But I don't like most of what those times did
My past is stuffed in a box but I can't find the fuckin lid
We are always so close to the edge
Sometimes I can even hear the reaper's bus tires skid
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Sampson Ontario, New York
I'm just a poet trying to fulfill his dream
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